Śaraṇāgati (Surrendered to the Lord’s Shelter)

Bhajana Lālasā (Hankering for Divine Service) – Song Ten

boḍo kṛpā kori’, gauḍa-vana mājhe,
godrume diyācho sthāna
ājñā dila more, ei braje bosi’,
hari-nāma koro gāna

1) O Gurudeva! Because you are so merciful, you gave me a place to live in Godruma amid the woodlands of Gauḍa-deśa, with this order to fulfill: “Dwell here in this sacred place of Vraja and sing the holy name of Hari.”

kintu kabe prabhu, yogyatā arpibe,
e dāsere doyā kori’
citta sthira habe, sakala sohibo,
ekānte bhajibo hari

2) But when, O master, out of your great mercy, will you bestow upon this servant the spiritual qualification to fulfill that order? My mind will then become tranquil, I will endure all hardships, and I will serve Lord Hari with undivided attention.

śaiśava-yauvane, jaḍa-sukha-saṅge,
abhyāsa hoilo manda
nija-karma-doṣe, e deho hoilo,
bhajanera pratibandha

3) Due to attachment to worldly pleasures in childhood and youth, I have developed many bad habits. Due to the reaction of these sinful acts my body itself has become an impediment to the service of the Supreme Lord.

vārdhakye ekhona, pañca-roge hata,
kemone bhojibo bolo’
kāṅdiyā kāṅdiyā, tomāra caraṇe,
poḍiyāchi suvihvala

4) Now, in old age, afflicted by the five-fold illnesses, how will I serve the Lord? O master, please tell me! Weeping and weeping, I have fallen at your feet, overwhelmed with anxiety. *

* Pañca-roga – the five illnesses of old age are described to be the incapacitation of the five principal senses, namely the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and sense of touch. In the Caitanya-Caritāmṛta (Antya 20.93-94), Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Goswāmī humbly states how he is himself afflicted with pañca-roga. In the Brahma-Vaivarta-Purāṇa (1.16.33) it is described how old age personified, in the form of Kāla-kanyā (the daughter of time) wanders over the face of the earth in the company of her brothers, the sixty-four afflictions. Kāla-kanyā is also explained in the Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 4.29.22-25.

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