Śaraṇāgati (Surrendered to the Lord’s Shelter)

First Principle of Surrender: Dainya (humility) – Song 4

āmāra jīvana,  sadā pāpe rata,
nāhiko punyera leṣa
parere udvega,  diyāchi je koto,
diyāchi jīvere kleśa

1) My life is ever given to sin; in it there is not a particle of good. I have caused others great anxiety, and have troubled all souls.*

nija sukha lāgi’,  pāpe nāhi ḍori,
doyā-hīna swārtha-paro
para-sukhe duḥkhī,  sadā mithya-bhāṣī,
para-duḥkha sukha-karo

2) For the sake of my own enjoyment I have never hesitated to perform sinful acts. Devoid of all compassion, I am concerned only with my selfish interests. Perpetually speaking lies, I become dejected upon seeing others happy, whereas the misery of others is a source of great delight for me.

aśeṣa kāmanā,  hṛdi mājhe mora,
krodhī, dambha-parāyana
mada-matta sadā,  viṣaye mohita,
hiṁsā-garva vibhūṣana

3) There are limitless material desires within the core of my heart. I am wrathful, fond of exhibiting arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. I wear the cherished ornaments of envy and egotism.

nidrālasya hata,  sukārye virata,
akārye udyogī āmi
pratiṣṭha lāgiyā,  śāṭhya-ācaraṇa,
lobha-hata sadā kāmī

4) Ruined by laziness and sleep, I resist all pious deeds, yet am very enthusiastic to perform wicked acts. For the sake of worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of deceitfulness. I am victimized by my own greed, being always lustful.

e heno durjana,  saj-jana-varjita,
aparādhi nirantara
śubha-kārya-śūnya,  sadānartha-manāḥ,
nānā duḥkhe jara jara

5) A vile, wicked man such as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. Devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, he is worn out and wasted by various miseries.

bārdhakye ekhona,  upāya-vihīna,
tā’te dīna akiñcana
bhakativinoda,  prabhura caraṇe,
kore duḥkha nivedana

6) Now in old age, deprived of all means of relief, thus humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the Supreme Lord.

*This song is based on the moods found in the Stotra-Ratnam, verse 45.

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