Part 2
Upalabdhi
(Perception)
Chapter 1
Anutāpa Lakṣaṇa Upalabdhi
(Perception Marked by Remorse)
(1)
āmi ati pāmara durjana*
ki karinu hāya hāya, prakṛtira dāsatāya
kāṭāinu amūlya jīvana
I am most a fallen and wicked person. Alas, alas! Enslaved by material nature, I have squandered this priceless human life.
*The earlier edition reads, āmi ati pāṣaṇḍa durjana – “I am a most atheistic and wicked person.”
(2)
kata dina garbhavāse, kāṭāinu anāyāse
bālya gela bāla-dharma-vaśe
grāmya-dharme yauvana, miche dilu visarjana
vṛddha-kāla elo avaśeṣe
How many days passed helplessly within the womb? Childhood slipped away in childish pursuits, and youth was wasted in ordinary worldly affairs. Now, at last, old age has arrived.
(3)
viṣaye nāhika sukha, bhoga-śakti su-vaimukha
anta danta śarīra aśakta
jīvana yantraṇā-maya, maraṇete sadā bhaya
bala kise hai anurakta
There is no real happiness in sense enjoyment, and now the power to enjoy has departed. My teeth and body have become weak and useless. Life is full of suffering, and death is always fearful. Tell me, how can I remain attached to such a condition?
(4)
bhoga-vastu bhoga-śakti, tāte chila anurakti
ye paryanta chila dehe bala
samasta vigata haila, ki laiyā thāki bala
ebe citta sadai cañcala
As long as I possessed the strength to enjoy the objects of the senses, I remained attached to them. But now all that strength has vanished. Tell me, what remains for me now? My mind has become constantly restless.
(5)
sāmarthya thākite kāya, hari nā bhajinu hāya
āsanna kālete kibā kari
dhik mora e jīvane, nā sādhinu nitya-dhane
mitra chāḍi’ bhajilāma ari
Alas! While my body was strong, I did not worship Hari. Now the final hour approaches – what shall I do? Shame upon this life of mine! I never sought the eternal treasure. Abandoning my true friend, I devoted myself to my enemies.