Kalyāṇa Kalpataru (The Desire Tree of Auspiciousness)

Part Two
Upalabdhi (Realization)

Chapter One

Anutāpa-lakṣaṇa-upalabdhi (Repentance)

Song 1

Text 1

āmi ati pāmara durjana
ki korinu hāya hāya prakṛtira dāsatāya
kāṭāinu amūlya jībana

I am a most wretched sinner. Alas! Alas! I passed this priceless lifetime as a slave of matter.

Text 2

koto dina garbhābāse kāṭāinu anāyāse
bālya gelo bala-dharma-baśe
grāmya-dharma e jaubana miche dinu bisarjana
bṛddha-kāla elo abaśeṣe

How many days did I pass in the womb? My childhood passed in childish activities. My youth was foolishly thrown away in household life. Now only old-age is left.

Text 3

biṣaye nāhiko sukha bhoga-śakti su-baimukha
anta danta śarīra aśakta
jībana jantraṇamoya maraṇete sadā bhoya
bolo kise hoi anurakta

I have no power to enjoy sense pleasures. I turn from them. At the end my teeth and my body are powerless. My whole life is pain. I fear death. Tell me: how can I like this kind of life?

Text 4

bhoga-bastu-bhoga-śakti ta’te chilo anurakti
je parjanta chilo dehe bala
samasta bigata ho’lo ki loiyā thāki bolo
ebe citta sadāi cacala

As long as my body was strong and I had the power to enjoy, I was happy. Now my powers have all gone away. Tell me: Why is my heart always restless now?

Text 5

sāmarthya thākite kāya hari nā bhajinu hāya
asanna kālete kibā kori
dhiṇ mora e jībane nā sādhinu nitya-dhane
mitra chāri’ bhajilāma ari

When I had the power, I did not worship Lord Kṛṣṇa. Now the final moment has come. What will I do? My life was wasted. I did not find the eternal treasure. Turning from my true friend, I worshiped my enemies.